Make no mistake: kissing still plays an important role in the world of modern dating as does flirting and sex. However, unlike the latter two, kissing actually bridges the gap between flirting and sex—it’s the signifier of whether either party want to “continue” with what they’re doing, or it’s actually a signal for them to stop and just leave it at that. And sure enough, if you really, REALLY like a person you’re dating, then there’s no question that you should know how to kiss well, no questions asked!
But of course, that’s not to say that you have to practice your kissing skills with any person you encounter in the street—no matter what your gender may be, that will be ALWAYS creepy! Thankfully, we have science and psychology to tell us the “right” way to kiss. And we give you tips for how to deal with it in today’s post! Time to get romantic this time around!
When to start kissing
Now, this is perhaps the trickiest part to start in just about any “kissing” course there is: when would you know when it’s okay to go in for the kill, so to speak, and initiate kissing? For that matter, how can you even know that it’s okay to kiss your date without making sure that your attempt at doing so would not be misconstrued as anything other than being “romantic”?
Well, as with all things, it all starts with observing social cues and the body language that your date may be radiating off, whether he or she is conscious of it or not. For instance, one of the things than you can be able to gauge immediately is when you move in close enough for your date to initiate intimate contact—and by “intimate contact”, it does not even have to mean a kiss. It can be a hug or a kiss on the cheek.
However, when doing so, observe how your date reacts to your gesture: does he or she stiffen or, god forbid, even flinch when you come in close with him or her? If they do, then that doesn’t mean that it’s completely hopeless for you to initiate romantic contact with them—it simply means that you’re still not on a level that your date can completely trust you yet. If that’s the case, then simply warm your way up with a couple of more dates, and see how he or she reacts to your gesture. Slow and steady always does the trick in this case!
The “technique” of kissing
Now, we go to the part where you now are “lucky” enough to start kissing your date. But of course, that’s not where the battle ends—that’s just the beginning of the good part! If you want to make an impression with the use of your lips, then there are certain cues you have to be aware of when you’re in the act of kissing your date.
So, if you’re reading this article as a man, then here’s one takeaway tip that will work well not just for kissing, but for any kind of romantic gesture you may be planning in mind: don’t be overaggressive. For instance, one of the most common complaints that females lob at their kissing partners is that, almost always, they feel that their male counterparts “intrude” their spaces with the use of their tongues; hence, if this is your style of kissing, then know that you’re removing the “romantic” aspect of the whole act because you’re willing to let your partner choke just so you can get some good action.
On the other hand, females should also take some responsibilities when it comes to kissing their partners. A man won’t clearly make “advances” on his kissing if you don’t give him some signals that he’s clear to do “more” than just kiss you on the lips (otherwise, that means you’ve landed quite the gentleman! Congrats!) . So, you can do so by opening your mouth more, or you can even play with your—yes, we said it—tongue on your partner. Basically, you’re saying to your partner, “Shut up and kiss me”. See, that’s how reciprocating works!
Playing with your form
Of course, just sticking with kissing on the lips is all fine and dandy, but as you have probably known at this point in your life, what turns on other people isn’t applicable to another set of young folks. So, in this case, it helps if you get a context of your partner’s likes and dislikes. For instance, if your partner is not the “showy” type, then choose a quiet or intimate spot where you can kiss each other without having other people stare at you for a long amount of time.
On the other hand, you can always do some variation on kissing if you feel that you need to be more adventurous to ramp the “tension” up. For instance, kissing other parts of the face other than the lips—say, in the neck, ears, or even nose—can help add some much-needed spice and variety to the way you’re expressing your affection with each other. It surely worked well in movies, so it must work well in real life, too!
So, have you determined your custom technique on how to kiss well? Well, we surely hope you did! Good luck!